The problem with going to a secular school is that it’s not only easy to walk away from your faith, but the academics and community push you in that direction. For me, this is exactly what happened. I still claimed to be walking with Jesus, but my actions spoke otherwise. I was more focused on all of the things of this world- money, success, popularity, power, a career, and so on.
It’s funny because in manipulative ways, my classes started to make me question my faith. There’s all these facts about how “humans evolved from monkeys” and other such claims. Subconsciously I began to wonder how these human proven “facts” can exist and the bible still be the truth. The enemy has a greater chance of removing all the seeds sewn in you when you’re submerged by people who don’t have the same morals and values as you. Which is the boat I was in.
I decided I wanted this year to be different.
This last quarter I spent every single day intentionally choosing God. Any Christian, boy or girl, knows how difficult that can be. Especially when attending a secular school.
Finding Cru my first week of classes fall quarter was a gift from God. I had prayed to find a Christ-fearing community for a long time, and when it came time to encounter this blessing I was ready to jump in with both feet. I went to football viewing parties, small group Wednesdays, outings on the weekends, and their signature event, Cru Monthly.
However, through these people and the Lord I came to realize a number of things. I wasn’t happy, I didn’t find joy in my day-to-day and I couldn’t connect with God. I started to realize that I had all these unreal expectations I brought to the table when it came to how a relationship with Our Creator should work.
During a retreat, I hiked to the top of a mountain and had a conversation with the Lord, and I started to understand that there is nothing more important than this relationship with Him. Allowing my faith to sink because of this laundry list of expectations and worldly garbage was unacceptable.
So I decided to focus on the quote:
“Nothing in my hand I bring, to the cross I cling.”
I heard it somewhere in my early walk with Jesus, and it has sat in the back of my mind ever since. I am nothing but a soul created by Him residing in an earth suit. Coming to God with nothing but the desire to spend time with Him is all He wants for our life. Relying on the gospel as the absolute truth is where our hope should reside. He wants a front-seat ride to your life, and as long as you’re letting the troubles of this world interfere you take that from Him.