I Want More

Short & sweet summary of Tahoe thus far

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So, so many words on my heart tonight. 

I’ve had Set a Fire by Will Reagan stuck in my head all day. And there is so so so much truth that song speaks into my life. 

Tahoe has given me an immense love for people and their stories. I want to know people deeply, and love them well.

One piece of the song says:

“No place I would rather be, than here in Your love.” 

God has been so incredibly faithful to me here in Tahoe. I wouldn’t change this summer for a single thing on earth. He has taken every broken and hurting piece of my heart and made it new in His Son. Waking up each day knowing I get to go serve others and love others a little more like Jesus everyday has given me a new outlook on life. 

Even better- my favorite part of the song is: 

“I want more. I want more, I want more. More of You. Pour it out.” 

This is exactly where my heart is. I strive to learn and grow in my faith moment by moment. I want more of Jesus and less of me. I want to be so full of the Spirit that people look at me and see a reflection of Jesus. I pray that I never lose the desire to pursue Him wholeheartedly. He’s such a tenderly loving God, and I want to live in His presence always. 

The moments I see the Lord at work in my life make me so excited to live missionally and be taught under His wing. Everyday I learn how to go therefore and make disciples of all nations. For as the Father sent Him, He is sending me and that is such a gift. 

I desire for the Lord to set a fire deep in my soul that’s uncontainable towards His people. To strive to know Him and make Him known. My God is a loving God and I want all to know Him the way I do. 

This summer isn’t even halfway over for me, and I’m eager to see where Jesus will lead me during the rest of this mission trip.

Let’s Go Back a Few Years…

When I saw wounded, He saw mended.

Story time!

On January 21st, 2012, I was at winter camp with my youth group as a high schooler. I had been wrestling with my identity and struggling with my will to live for months before this weekend event. I found myself crying at the foot of the alter during worship Saturday night and that’s when I met with Jesus for the first time. He said that I was beautiful and He was going to make me new.

I believe that in order to have a genuinely healed and faithful heart, we must first allow it to truly break before the Lord.

Looking back, in the moment, all I could see was pain and the wounds from all of the times I had fallen. You know what He saw in me? He saw purpose, and the priceless stories my scars would tell the world. Jesus saw my potential and I pray that I never lose the ambition to pursue Him wholeheartedly.

That was almost five years ago! There’s no way it’s been half a decade

 

If it were possible to go back with the knowledge I have today, I can fairly positively say I wouldn’t change anything. (I can’t be 100% because I am quite impulsive sometimes). My experiences were and continue to be stepping stones to a better life, and they’re all coming together into this beautiful creation. Jesus made a miracle of me- this broken girl who didn’t even know which way was up. He loved me at my darkest, more in that moment than anyone could in this lifetime. Jesus did His best work when my heart was shattered, which allowed Him to fill my emptiness with passion and adventure.

“After your season of suffering, God in all His grace will restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.” 1 Peter 5:10

Thinking back to that night and everything I did to get myself to where I am now leaves me in awe.[WRONG]

Every decision was guided by His divine hand, and He is taking me into a future I can’t even fathom. My strength, my identity, my love and compassion come directly from the One who created my heart. This life is purely His, and I leave everything in His hands which has allowed me to see His hand in everything.

I can clearly see all of the doors God opened (but also closed) for my good in the end. Seeing the coordination of His timing is astounding, and inspires me to leave my life at the Cross and let Jesus take control. Instead of saying “Lord, I don’t know how I am going to get through this” I have begun to look at life and say “Lord, I can’t wait to see how you do this.”

If you think you’ve blown God’s plan for your life, rest in this: you, my friend, are not that powerful. You are where the Lord wants you to be at this very moment; every experience is part of His divine workmanship. Don’t ever be afraid to trust your unknown future to our known God.

Be intentional about remembering that the work God does within us while we wait is just as important as whatever He’s preparing.

His timing, not ours.